diff --git a/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/HostConnection.swift b/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/HostConnection.swift
index 5e1a7d3..c90fa71 100644
--- a/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/HostConnection.swift
+++ b/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/HostConnection.swift
@@ -264,7 +264,8 @@ final class HostConnection {
             // a gossiped address carries only the IP.
             tailnetPort: hasTailnet ? 43_753 : nil,
             relayRoomID: member.addresses?.relayRoomID,
-            relayMembershipToken: nil, relayURL: nil)
+            relayMembershipToken: nil, relayURL: nil,
+            addressesUpdatedAt: member.addresses?.updatedAt)
     }
 
     /// Whether the dialable endpoints of a gossiped record differ from the one on file — the
@@ -588,16 +589,25 @@ final class HostConnection {
                 guard fingerprint != self.hostID else { continue }  // that's the Mac we're on
                 let incoming = Self.pairedHost(from: member)
                 let existing = IdentityStore.pairedHost(id: fingerprint)
+                IdentityStore.mergePairedHost(incoming)
                 // Re-dial not only when a Mac is brand-new, but also when a known Mac's dialable
                 // address changed — a Mac's LAN port is OS-assigned (`.any`), so it lands on a
                 // fresh one every relaunch and re-gossips it. `mergePairedHost` updates the
                 // registry in place, but a connection already retrying the dead old address won't
                 // pick that up on its own (its retry loop reuses the address it was last handed),
                 // so without forcing a fresh reconnect here the phone never reconnects to it.
-                if existing == nil || Self.dialableAddressChanged(from: existing!, to: incoming) {
+                //
+                // Compare against the POST-merge record, not the raw gossip: the merge deliberately
+                // preserves fields the gossip omits (a relay room learned from the host's own
+                // `relayMembership` push, stale-vs-fresh address arbitration), so a member gossiped
+                // by a Mac that lacks those fields is NOT a change. Comparing pre-merge made every
+                // such push read as "changed" forever — a mesh-wide reconnect storm that tore down
+                // in-flight handshakes on each gossip wave and pinned connections on "Connecting…".
+                let merged = IdentityStore.pairedHost(id: fingerprint)
+                if existing == nil
+                    || (merged != nil && Self.dialableAddressChanged(from: existing!, to: merged!)) {
                     changed = true
                 }
-                IdentityStore.mergePairedHost(incoming)
             }
             for tombstone in push.tombstones {
                 // fingerprint = first 16 hex of the hostID (sha256 prefix), the registry key.
@@ -722,6 +732,13 @@ final class HostConnection {
                 if case .failed = connectivity {} else {
                     connectivity = .failed("Couldn't connect to your Mac — check that it's reachable, then scan again.")
                 }
+            } else if case .failed = connectivity {
+                // keep the surfaced error
+            } else {
+                // Reconnect-mode chain exhausted through channel closes (the LAN/relay connect
+                // watchdogs surface that way) — mirror `asyncAttemptFailed` so the row reads
+                // "host offline" through the retry backoff instead of a stale "Connecting…".
+                connectivity = .hostOffline
             }
             connectPlan = nil
             callbacks.didUpdate()
diff --git a/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/IdentityStore.swift b/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/IdentityStore.swift
index fa26ed4..d80eafe 100644
--- a/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/IdentityStore.swift
+++ b/NucleicRemote/NucleicRemote/Models/IdentityStore.swift
@@ -28,6 +28,11 @@ struct PairedHost: Codable, Equatable {
     var relayRoomID: String?
     var relayMembershipToken: String?
     var relayURL: String?
+    /// When the gossiped addresses this record's dial hints came from were stamped at their
+    /// origin (`PeerAddresses.updatedAt`) — the freshness clock `mergePairedHost` arbitrates
+    /// with, so a Mac gossiping a stale snapshot can't clobber a fresher one. Nil for records
+    /// predating the field and for hints seeded straight from a pairing QR.
+    var addressesUpdatedAt: Date? = nil
 
     var transportHint: SyncTransportHint { transport.flatMap(SyncTransportHint.init(rawValue:)) ?? .lan }
 }
@@ -119,9 +124,17 @@ enum IdentityStore {
     static func mergePairedHost(_ host: PairedHost) {
         var hosts = pairedHosts()
         if let index = hosts.firstIndex(where: { $0.fingerprint == host.fingerprint }) {
-            var merged = host
             let existing = hosts[index]
+            // Freshness gate on the dial hints: two Macs can gossip disagreeing snapshots of a
+            // third's addresses (one still holds its pre-relaunch LAN port). Adopting the incoming
+            // hints blindly made the record — and every dial loop keyed off it — flip-flop between
+            // the stale and fresh snapshots on alternating pushes. The origin's `updatedAt` rides
+            // in as `addressesUpdatedAt`; an undated record loses to any dated one.
+            let incomingAt = host.addressesUpdatedAt ?? .distantPast
+            let existingAt = existing.addressesUpdatedAt ?? .distantPast
+            var merged = incomingAt >= existingAt ? host : existing
             merged.deviceID = existing.deviceID  // keep our established id for this host
+            merged.hostName = host.hostName      // labels carry no clock; newest gossip wins
             merged.relayMembershipToken = host.relayMembershipToken ?? existing.relayMembershipToken
             merged.relayRoomID = host.relayRoomID ?? existing.relayRoomID
             merged.relayURL = host.relayURL ?? existing.relayURL